Something I hate about myself.

I hate the fact that I fall in love so easily. Not that I've ever been in love. I mean I'm so quickly head over heels for someone. Because its just so easy for me to open my heart up to people. So easy for me to express my emotions. So easy to let people in. And because of this I get hurt so easily too. It ruins me.

I need to work on that.

My blogs for the next 30 days...

Not counting today ofcourse.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.(letter)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why?

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Tomorrow starts with day 1 :)

Why can't I get you out of my head!?

How can I put into words what I feel?

"I'm terrified of what you'll do. My stomach screams when I look at you."

You see thats how I expect to feel. But I don't. I mean ofcourse I'm scared that he'll break my heart. But I don't know that. I don't want a boyfriend right now, and he doesn't want a girlfriend right now either. So, I guess that works out perfectly. Getting to know him is better than a relationship anyday, I love talking to him and if I could I would spend hours and hours just talking with him :)

But that feelins coming back, the wierd feeling I get in my palms. The feeling I've only had once before. There aren't any butterflies when I'm around him, just smiles. But it's the feeling in my palms that I'm afraid of...I shouldn't look into this it will only make me do something that I'll regret.

I just have to keep faith that God has made the plan and I just need to live it :)

I don't know where to go from here.

I spent all last year trying my hardest to make my way into this certain group of people. Because they were fun people and there was just no drama with them. I didn't have to be anybody but me. I did everything to make friends with them and for them to consider me a friend too. These are the people that I call my best friends. But its a new year and I'm excited to meet new people! Now that I've started to explore the possibility of many new friendships, I haven't seen the friends that I've worked hard to get. I don't want them to feel like I'm leaving them behind for new people. But I also don't want to feel like they're moving on fine with out me. Well now that they are my friends I don't have to work hard anymore. But now that I'm not trying.. I feel like I'm slipping away.

Don't stress it. They're your closest friends.

This is me...

This is me! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, and love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me or leave me. Accept me or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit into your idea of who I should be. Don't try to change me to fit your mold of what you prefer. If need to change, I will alone make that decision.

Sophmore year has just started and a part of me feels like I can and will acheive this year. Not just my goals. But a whole new lifestyle! I love my friends, but I want to explore. I want to meet new people and try new things. I want to experience an adventure everyday with the new people I meet. We only live once, right? I want to keep to the positive, no matterhow many times I get knocked down I want to be able to get right back up and show the world that I'm a stronger person than they think. I'm not gonna wear my heart on my sleeve and let myself get hurt so easily. I want to incorporate God into my life everyday, and I want the people around me to know that I am a child of God and nothing can change that. With God by my side, I can not fail. I want to be happy, I want the people in my life to be happy.

Starting now, I am making a commitment to myself. Just because I don't succeed at something doesn't mean I will give up. I never give up.

And that's a promise.